(Jivem Sharadah Shatam)
A Hundred Autumns to Live
I yearn for a hundred autumns
On a morning of late Aahin1
As I run my fingers over panicles of milching paddy
The water pearls on them utter a soft prayer
The spread field sets loose the winds
The sweet scent of wildflowers
And I drown in the endless warbles
Of a flock of birdlings
Such life there is in today
Yesterday I returned
Along a path of scorching death
Tomorrow the blackness of stranger days awaits
Yet
I yearn for a hundred autumns
A hundred autumns my heart desires
1Aahin- Sixth month of the Assamese Calendar
(On an evening of Phagun)
A flock of rain sweeps over me in mid-Phagun
My sun-stricken soil
Drenched in it
Its exhalations
Clawing their way into me
The fallen leaf wishes
My earthly human, my earthly world
I shall love you again
Morite Chaina Aami Ei Sundor Bhubone*
(I Wish Not to Die in This Divine Land)
A bed of yellow sunflowers beckons to me
The March sun and rain
Breathe life into their green expanse
Why so blazing a yellow
Why so vivid a green
A bed of yellow sunflowers
Quells the terror of death
After two and a half decades or a hundred years
Surpassing plagues and currents of half-burnt bodies
Van Gogh, I remember you
A bed of yellow sunflowers faces the sky
It isn’t death, it isn’t death, it isn’t death
*The first line of Rabindranath Tagore’s famous poem “Pran” from his collection of poems Kori o Komal in Sanchayita
The sight of you pained me today. A promise
We made to together make a home, soothed by the shadows
of broad-headed trees, soaked in sweet bird songs
A front yard alive with tittering children
The chatters of the afternoons
Shared with next door friends
At the nongola-gate1, immersed in the fragrance of the
Madhoimaloti2 that would stand hanging its head
Under the weight of blossoming flowers
Which outlander has rowed against the currents of the familiar river
What colours are their lips smeared
Blood in the waters, blood in the air, ashes and bones strewn
A fair of the merchants of evil sits in our fields
A long river of hate courses through your veins and mine
We barricade the doors, darkness nesting in our eyes
And sharpen our weapon for our next-door friends
After so many moons, the sight of you pained me today
I couldn’t hold onto the earth under my feet
Hordes of merchants have traded us again and again
For many moons, in the arcane bazaar of death
1Nongola-gate- A gateway seen in front of village homes that comprise of three to four bamboo rods suspended parallelly one above the other in a horizontal manner held in place by sticking their ends into holes drilled on two vertical poles at either end.
2Madhoimaloti- A vine-like twining climber ornamental flowering plant native to India. Often planted near the gate to decorate it.
(Thirty Nine Years of Silence)
The blunt spear with which
On the banks of Aalichinga lake
During the Miya wars of ‘83
Harison kai’s father Bajuwa
Tore open Rahmat Bano’s carrying belly
Was tucked away in the barn loft
For ages
The child that had not yet finished the time
Inside its mother’s womb
Was squirming for a while, outside
He was but Medhi1 of the village Naamghar2
Mitingbar, who served a marakia3 at Kalia uncle’s
Invited us on our way to school and back
To see the wooden staff of buffalo keepers’
Stained with blood
The third teacher at school told us
Not to read the story of Karbala
That blackened the pages of our Kuhipaths4
The mite devoured bamboo haft had long since wasted away
Its thirty nine Sots5 of fire, smoke and ashes
Falling into thirty nine Bohaags6 of earth, clouds and water
A few days ago
With the rust-rotten spear as her aid
Harison kai’s adopted daughter Nandita was
Jabbing at colocasias in the mud puddles of their field
During the last farm season
When my sister-in-law had stones in her gallbladder
She was taken to the town for operation
After selling the cows to Aatikur of the other village
And even before that
They’d brought back incanted waters
For treating vertigo
The old man Bajuwa’s bones have grown flowers on them
Uncle Kalia is gone too
Mitingbar was taken by blood dysentery
And our clothes by now were soiled so we left
That day, we’d sent papayas to Aatikur from our backyard, a crateful
Ripened before pick
‘Sir, it’s the month of Ramzaan’, he’d said
And upon hearing the first word leave his mouth
The one he uttered to address me
I felt a shapeless lump
Harden in my throat
1.Medhi- An officer incharge of a Sattra engaged to collect annual contribution from the disciples
2Naamghar- a prayer house for congregational worship associated with the entire Assamese community and the Ekasarana sect of Hinduism, in particular, that is native to Assam.
3.Marakia- a person who borrows someone else’s cattle for farming and so conducts farming for both their own household and for the person they borrowed the cattle from.
4.Kuhipaths- Books used to teach students at the preparatory and primary level in Assamese schools. Kuhi’ meaning ‘Tender’ and ‘Path’ meaning ‘Lesson’ as it was solely aimed at a tender mind.
5.Sot- The last month of the Assamese calendar falling between mid-March and mid-April
6.Bohaag- The first month of the Assamese calendar falling between mid-April and mid-May
6
Ambubachi reminds me of Aai1-Pitaai2 today
Biren from Kamakhya had once said
The place is an active energy centre
Earth’s centre of force
Something we didn’t learn in ninth standard geography, I thought
Indeed, we are skeptical beings
Sophist non-believers
Disciples of Abraham Kovoor
Who ponder interminably before believing
In futility still
Tatras naiba naiba sa3
Before they passed
I had taken Aai-Pitaai on a tour
Catching a glimpse of the goddess after half a day in a tailless queue
My mother’s voice utterly drowned
By the cacophony of Bengal-seasoned voices and words
Of swarms of downstream women
Outside, someone was offhandedly cutting off
Pigeon heads on a bothi4
Inside the Manikut of our house
Aai had placed carefully
The red cloth bought from a roadside shop
There was tumour in my mother’s breasts
And accumulated water in her belly
Human sorcery, an unfriendly spell
Making a pot within flesh
An aunt from our village said
After moving from home to hospital and hospital to home
A few times
Aai finally rested in our backyard
Aai’s red cloth was now nowhere to be found
The cancer in his liver, took father
Withering him away day after day
Without food
One day with my own eyes I saw
The raspy voice falling suddenly silent
Pitaai rested his head beside Aai in our backyard
Ambubachi reminds me of Aai-Pitaai today
Where is the Goddess? Where?
A fatal sickness ravages our neoteric world now
While the rivers carry with their currents,
An undying stream of half-burnt bodies
Tainted air in our lungs
The oxygen only lessens
And lessens
Where is the Goddess? Where?
From her dark sanctuary, from a
Vermillion smeared stone, from her cocoon of sacrificial blood
Flowers, ghee5, batasha6 and holy chants
Will she emerge
And sprinkle the sacred waters
Is it time
1Aai- Mother in Assamese rural tongue
2Pitaai- Father in Assamese rural tongue
3.Tatras naiba naiba sa- Sanskrit Shloka that means ‘even so, it’ll never happen’
4.bothi- a long curved blade that cuts on a platform held down by the foot
5.ghee- clarified butter used in South Asian cooking and also as a part of auspicious rituals
6 .batasha- a pan-Indian sweet made from sugar and jaggery that is widely used in Temples, Gurdwaras & at home as prasadam for daily pujas prayers, all across India.
(Burning Kaliram Kokaai1)
The open field brings tears to my eyes, kokaai! The culms
So shriveled and dry! I break their roots
Searching for grasses with moist faces
The seven knotted bamboo bier looks to the sky
The sounds of Kalamoni’s nagaras2 break headfirst into my chest, at high noon
As kokaai’s chariot is let down at the edge of the field
The Naamgeet3 ladden wind with its melancholic tunes
And the rhythms of Pobita and Bakuli mahi’s4 relentless claps
Bounce off my heart
In the end kokaai, you’ve left
The pearl I wore
Is lost to the sands
And I’m unable to catch it, oh my guru5
My darling mother shall now cry
The Naamgeet laden wind bounces off my heart
A bamboo bursts without warning
Scattering the scent of burning ghee and mustard into the air
And into me
1.Kokaai- Used to address an elder brother or someone holding a similar stature
2.Nagara- A kind of small kettle drum
3.Naamgeet- A collective song in the Assamese community performance on various social occasions by a group of people
4.Mahi- Used to address someone’s mother’s younger sister or someone given the same stature
5.Guru- teacher
